Philadelphia air

November 28, 2011 - I walked home in the quiet, warm Philadelphia air last night. Home, to Steve and Diane Rukavina's place.  The music and performance and the conversations of the Salon - Andrea Clearfield's child - now 25 years old...still coursing through me.  It was a good night. It reminded me of why I love to do what I do. The people - Jay, Cheryl, Jason, Charles, Elliot, John, Eric, Carrie, Connie, Richard, Jennifer - all coming together to make for a great evening... We must expose our world the creative invention that humanizes us. Without it we are less than human.

Though entertainment and performance was the currency of the night, there was also no shortage of good conversation to shape the evening that followed. We are all debating the state of things here in America. Occupation Wall Street - a spontaneous outpouring of angry and resolute desire for change, co-opted by those who seek disruption for disruption's sake. The Tea Party - a harnessing of that same anger by the very, very wealthy to be wielded as a weapon against any who would challenge the dominance of the wealthiest one percent.... Even when that one percent's representatives in elected office seek to systemically eradicate those same Tea Party members benefits, pensions, wages and even, ultimately their life style.

What do we make of a future of fewer and fewer choices, and a state dominated by the few? How do we reconcile a world of need with the evidence of privilege and the slow destruction of the very fabric of our culture? And how do we reconcile the killing of those who simply shopped to hard - such a stark contrast to those simply fighting for the right to vote in other nations... I go on too long, perhaps, over such things... 

I do not know, and tonight I am truly tired. I leave these thoughts for you to consider and, as always, welcome the dialogue at cwrecord@alaska.net or on my Facebook page (though I check it less).

A treasure of intimacy

November 27, 2011 - Last night was a treasure of intimacy...  Friends Thomas and Kathie Tallant did a great job of setting up their house for a great crew of friends - an evening that opened with great music (a recording of their Paganini will be found here or on Facebook soon!) and I even got a chance to play some unusual instruments (note the size of that lute.... called a Theorbo)

November 27, 2011.jpg


I woke up at 2 am and hit the road again - there truly is something magic about driving through the night - everything so unusual, masked, guarded. Ended up in Roanoke this morning now heading to Philadelphia and the Salon this evening. No great insights today... nervous about Egypt, elections tomorrow.  Violence simmers below the surface... The US comes out strong against the violence...  We shall see.... 

A truck down a freeway at night

November 26, 2011 - The days are rushing past like a truck down a freeway at night. Surreal lights like ancient spaceships floating down rivers of asphalt...  Time slipping by, but full, so very full. Two lives really it seems - Egypt and the music.  Now for the music.

The music tour began October 30 in Manchester, UK according to my good friend Martin.  Played a song there for his magnificent wedding (accompanied there by the vocals of my girlfriend Sarah Sledge).  Then it was back to Anchorage for the official kickoff at Side Street Espresso November 5 and again on the 8th for Arctic Entries (as the featured artist).  From there it was to Cairo (see below) where I played for friends at the home of Naguib Abidar and then to Dallas, Texas for an amazing house concert at the home of Randy and Denise Renter - two Kerrville friends who made me feel as though I was always at home. It was an electric evening with Kerrville friends Jerry Earwood and his wife and Scott Ausburn (his photos of the event are on my Facebook page) along with many others. There Randy and Ron Isaacson connected me to the work of the late Karen Holt and her touching work around abuse, and Bill Nash joined me for a song circle to close out the evening.  Truly Magic.

Dallas was followed the next night by the generous hospitality of friends Mike and Carol Wofford who opened their magnificent house in Oklahoma City to friends and neighbors as a fundraiser for the Food Bank of Oklahoma.  The evening was a different as I could have hoped - a unique dynamic mix of people that made me feel as though music truly was our common language.  The evening went late, not just with the music but with conversations that stretched all of our boundaries. Absolutely electric.  After a week break in Florida with Sarah and her parents, I'm on the road again. Today in Knoxville where I am hosted by friends Thomas and Kathie Tallant. Another great evening?  I'm counting on it....

A memory of my Cousin Peter

November 24, 2011 - An earlier entry may be found below for today, a memory of my Cousin Peter... I felt the two entries should be separate. This, then, some other thoughts for these past six weeks...  More to come about music soon.

I wrote last month about Egypt. About a world of burning wood and ordered chaos, of people struggling to build a nation from the remains of 60 years of authoritarian rule, of a people who cared enough about democracy to die for it... And so, this week, they have.

This is the last, best effort to build a peaceable national democracy in the heart of Islam. A democracy that could look after its poor and its minorities and afford the right to self-determination to all of its people, regardless of their gender or religion or who they know or who they are related to... A dream we are supposed to have been conceived in, a pursuit to which we as a nation are bound by history and purpose. And yet we watch as this experiment in democracy starts to descend into an unnecessary cycle of violence and repression - its pattern and progress almost predictable in its slow downward trajectory. But it need not be this way. We need not let it happen. It need not always be the choice of geopolitical imperative outweighing the lives of people.

It is not in the interests of our allies to ensure a free Egypt - whether run by the Muslim Brotherhood as some think, or the secularists like the Free Egyptians (those I know there) as others do.  In either case the repressive monarchies and authoritarian states we call our friends are threatened - whether from a repressed Islam, or a powerful secular voice.  In all instances, if Egypt were to succeed, it would indicate to others in the region that this country - this 7,000 year old symbol of culture and humanity - has found a different path than either repression or self-immolation upon which to build a society. These allies would never like that. So in Washington diplomats and experts whisper threats of what democracy might bring to those who know no better.  They haven't been there, or if they have, they have wined and dined with the military rulers who control 40% or more of the economy and repress their people in the name of righteousness, while threatening any who speak ill of them. No, they haven't been there, but I have.

Today the military has chosen to allow chaos to rule the streets by not protecting those who assembled and demanded civilian government. They've chosen to shoot them and tear gas them and use nerve agents to permanently harm them. They've lied about what they have done and been caught in those lies. They've cut a deal with the Islamists to avoid losing their monopoly. These are our friends - the allies that promote stability? Since when did stability look like a state that kills its people, and promotes a party that will threaten the rights of one of its nation's genders and its religious minorities? We cringe at pepper spray in California, sprayed in the eyes of peaceful students.  In Egypt the police have aimed at the protesters eyes when they shoot, permanently blinding those who survive.

These are grim thoughts. I was there a week ago, and I left with a different feeling. I was watching a democratic process unfold before me.  I watched a Facebook page turning with new "likes" at a rate of 100 an hour - not to find out about the latest casualties, but to discover who their candidates were, the latest political ad, the latest party statement. I left a country that hoped for a future - and planned for an election November 28th. I landed in the U. S. and saw on the news a country convulsed in the reality that the secularists just might do better than it was thought, that the alliance between the Muslim Brotherhood's Freedom and Justice Party and the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF), just might not succeed. The reality that the ruling status quo might be broken. And then all Hell broke loose.

As I have watched this all unfold, I have been on my music tour, set up well before I knew I would be in Egypt. And, while the tour has been good (kudos to Randy and Denise Renter in Dallas and Mike and Carol Wofford in Oklahoma City for throwing great events - more on them and their events in the next entry), I have been troubled by all of this and stunned at the surreal contrast of the world I've played for here and the one I played for there. But I have not lost hope. I have spoken to some in Washington and have been on the phone with friends in Tahrir Square and I believe it may still be possible for a new Egypt to emerge. And while I recognize that "Black Friday" will dominate the news in the States - as we run from bargain to bargain, that day will take on a whole other meaning in Egypt if we do nothing. As more than a million people crowd the streets again on Friday asking for the right to be governed by themselves, their rulers, the SCAF, will face a choice and will have to determine which side of history they will come down on. And, in what we say to them, what words our government whispers into the ears of the SCAF, we too will have to decide on which part of history we'll come down.

It is in our interests as a free people - and as members of humanity - to care.  We should. It is not just about Egypt, its about whether or not there will ever be a third way in those nations where a majority of the people practice Islam. A way that could well lead to the end of our never-ending war on terror. A world that promises a future for those who have no hope for one. 

In January, while visiting my Mom in Carson City, she turned to me as the people filled Tahrir Square.  "I wish I could go", she said... "I wish I could be there too" she finished. We were watching history unfold. And while she can't be there, she inspired me. I can't stand back and watch, I've engaged. Will you?

An apology is in order

November 24, 2011 - An apology is in order.  It has been well over a month since I've written, but the lack of words is not for want of action. Much has happened in this past six weeks. It has been difficult for me to decide where to begin in this time of sorrow, success, peace and conflict.  It is now Thanksgiving Day and, for the first time in a very long time I am taking a moment to try and put some of these things into words. This will be two entries.

My younger cousin Peter passed away the week of the 7th of November. A heart attack, followed by attempts at revival and then, after a brief hospital stay, his passing. Traveling, I was unable to attend the funeral, but his death has been on my mind.  A life I had lost touch with, and yet one that formed a part of my youth - encapsulating those years when I first understood both how joy was found in the camaraderie of family, and how cruel children could be with each other. 

These memories echo a time that changed me, formed me.  When I was growing up, Peter was one of many cousins - sons and daughters of my Mother's Sisters and her Brother - that we distant Alaskans busted out with - 17 cousins of various ages that helped socialize us, in some instances perhaps criminalize us (though not Peter), and in all ways immerse us in the feeling and concept of family. I remember hanging with the cousins before "hanging" was a word used to describe that kind of activity. And in St. Cloud, it was the small Mom and Pop grocery down from my Grandparents that we visited. Ice cream or frozen pops, melting before we got back in the oppressive Minnesota summer heat. We were less close with Peter's family - Sheila, Timmy and Cindy...  Sheila, older, mysteriously teenaged running off with my sister Nichelle to things we guessed were "parties" or maybe off behind the house then returning with a hint of smoke.... Timmy, quiet, a loner, already heading down a path that would find him in the military and a distinguished career. Cindy  - always in her own world, walking to her drum...

And Peter, as with the others in his family, a bit of a loner, though not by choice.  He wanted to do things with his older cousins (us), but his family lived across town, rather than out of town. When they came to visit us at the Grandparents, the visits were shorter, as theirs was a short distance to go, and Uncle Tom always had an early morning wake up for work - and Aunt Barbara was always sure to get her kids home for an early day before bed. But it wasn't just the schedule. We older cousins were haphazard in our treatment of Peter. Alternately accepting and rejecting him in ways that only kids can do and kids can painfully feel.

But Peter survived that ribbing and wronging of youth, and married Nyome and raised four daughters. And like many, he was a metaphor for the working class life of America - struggling to eke out a living, supporting a family, looking for opportunity and missing a few as well.

I'll miss a cousin I could have known better, but now never will.

Sahara

October 9, 2011 - The dust of the Sahara is on my shoes, and the smell of wood burning is in my mind as I return from a week in Cairo. The energy was palatable there and I left a group of friends and leaders who believe in a future, in the possibility of a better world.  It echoes the thoughts I've had over these past few years, the feeling growing within me that we have allowed ourselves to lose sight of what it is to be human, to aspire for something better. Instead we are learning to settle for something a little worse, a little more hateful, a little less than what we can be.  And so it is there as well, as I read how these peaceful efforts have been stoked to violence and now two of my friends - those I stayed with and worked with have been injured just moments ago, others have died.  For power is always reluctant to let go. And so it seems again.  I'm going back because we must make a difference.

Here at home I watch the mass dismissing of Occupy Wall Street by the same media that embraced the Tea Party and it is clear to me why, for this media is not threatened by the anger of the Tea Party, they are protected by them.  They ridicule the leaderless, powerless OWS, because that's how they win.  With a page out of Babbitt, they spew out the words of conformity to a public that has continually soaked it up. But will the people, our people, ultimately see that the real outrage is not a President or protester who wants health care, a fair wage and an end to obscene corporate greed; its a greedy, self-serving media that would rather reward the wealthy and damn the middle class. Are we smart enough to see this?  Only time will tell.

This entry is brief, a plane to catch, but I know this: there is a confrontation coming here and abroad that will shape us. Which side of history will you be on?

At an airport, waiting on another plane

October 1, 2011 - At an airport, waiting on another plane.  Last week I played in Salt Lake City at Ken Sanders Rare Books.  Quite an evening.  The show was opened by Duncan Phillips, Utah's son. He was followed by singer/songwriter Shane Jackman and then Tim Mason and I performed as the Bone Collectors - our combination of original music and spoken word.  Good evening had by all.  I note though that for the first time my I Phone heated up to such a degree (pun intended) that a note saying "temperature" came up and i had to actually put it in the refrigerator to get it to work again! Ah the mysteries of technology..

The Fall tour is coming together well.  Many thanks to those who have offered to do House Concerts! Dates confirmed for Anchorage (2), Dallas, Oklahoma City, Knoxville, State College PA, Philadelphia, Rhinebeck NY, and Reno NV. Dates nearly locked for Boston, Washington DC, Port Townsend, Helena MT and Kalispell MT. Still trying to see if something in the old Northwest can work out (Minnesota, Michigan, Wisconsin?) and Carson City NV. Also looked at California, but not hearing a whole lot from there...  Still we'll see. Its a full Fall nonetheless!

This trip is different though - harkening back to my old life and new sensibilities. I'm heading to Cairo, Egypt to assist with helping develop enthusiasm for the coming elections there.  I am helping with the next phase of the Arab Spring....  It means something to me.  I grew up in a family steeped in politics.  While some may scoff at it, I know that myself, my Parents and my Brothers and Sisters all believed that it was a part of our obligation as humans to provide for others and to spend some time in the service of the public good.  But increasingly people have lost faith in that public good, as have I. I am unsure of what politics means in America anymore.  Behind the consistent spewing of hate and the words of battle lines drawn, I have lost sight of the good that either side is intent on - if they even see it.  There are fundamentals, as I have written of before, that ought to mean something - like caring for the sick and infirm, not begrudging that wealth obligates you to serve those who helped get you there, that education matters.  But we do the opposite. We slash our obligations, make the returning something to our society and evil and we do so with little or no debate - those still believing meekly cowing down to the bullies that shout at them, push them, pepper spray them...  Meanwhile, a world away, democracy begins to bloom, but at what cost and in what form?

We have the tools to engage people in a new birth of democracy, but will they be turned into tools that manipulate a promise to serve a theft of resources? A new elite? Will they fulfil aspiration or crash upon the shores of the haves at the expense of the have-nots?  A many with a computer degree is selling food in a stall and, harassed by the police one too many times, sets himself on fire. And the match sets a flame to Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Syria, Bahrain, Yemen and others... A single match, but will it set a world on fire, or light a lamp?  It is these moments that matter, and so I go to Egypt.

There are odd parallels worth considering. When Jimmy Carter tied Human Rights to arms sales, and refused to sell to South American dictators that were throwing their youth from planes above the Atlantic, Mothers were emboldened, people rose up and the military was shamed. Regimes toppled and democracy today is the norm in most of South America... Economies weathered the crisis, and democracy took root.  It has not always been an easy path, and we have not always agreed with those who have come to power, but the systems are intact and, even in Venezuela there is credible opposition to the leadership.  In Eastern Europe, when Gorbachev withheld the Soviet fist, democracy bloomed too.  I remember reading the essays of Valclav Havel in those heady days, and I remember the fear I felt when I heard opportunists talk about the money that could be made... Democracy, which had been the light that kept dissidents alive there was side-stepped for economic policy. We cast it as the triumph of capitalism instead, and planted seeds of greed that tear those nations apart to this day.  It was never capitalism that kept those believers hoping and willing to risk their lives, it was the concept of freedom - that people have a right to self-determination.

But we used that belief to cut those nations and bleed them dry - paid lip-service to democracy, when our goal was to extract wealth. We disillusioned millions, who have given up on this form of government now seemingly inexorably linked to capital. And now in the nascent Arab rebirths what will we do? How will we act? Will we support democracies that choose not to follow our desires? What is our commitment to the right of self-determination?

It matters what we do.  It matters who we choose to be and how we choose to act out our unique humanity. Democracy must be real. Must lead to change. Must right wrong. But it has become a tool that is used against the disenfranchised - denies them education, manipulates their fears and, consequently, weakens its very core. We must take democracy back and show that it can lead to a voice for those who have no power amidst those who ceaselessly jockey to manipulate and hold power.  It must seek an unswerving redress of grievance, and balance of moral good. That is why I'm going to Egypt.

 

As the 14th dawns

September 14, 2011 - I'm writing this as the 14th dawns.  Some thoughts have been coursing through me as we start to smell the advance of Fall and Winter. Near my house there is a Steller Jay that knows when we are here.  Yesterday I heard him making his cawing sounds and, when I opened my door, he was on the rail waiting for me.  He knows we put peanuts out for him and he is no dummy.  He'd called me to the door.  When we first met him, he was reluctant to come around and waited until we were gone.  Then, still wary, he came closer and closer, recognizing that we meant no harm.  Surely I will hear from some of you about not making him (or her) too familiar with humans, and I understand that - we often destroy those who trust us.  But this bird had an affinity and certainly not a fear.  Yesterday I grabbed my camera and waited until he returned and then shot the video (AVI format), uploaded on Facebook.  Could not upload it here, but here is a picture of our friend...

September 14, 2011.jpeg


A metaphor of sorts of trusting nature...

While a pleasant distraction, other thoughts bubble near the surface.  THe shouting, the anger, the hypocrisy of those who seek power and not public purpose, who use trust and good will to siphon off what is left of a person's belief in what is right... I read in a Harper's piece earlier this year about the misuse of Founding American's quotes - the making up of quotes that sounded as though they came from these historic leaders just to suit the purpose of gaining power and control.  I'm struck by the un-Christian attitudes of those who claim to lead churches and attack those with charitable attitudes claiming they are socialists or, worse, liberals, as though caring for others, helping the destitute, caring for their fellow man were not Christian-like ways of being. I guess Christ must have worn a business suit when he preached, read from a book of statements that were unchanging, persecuted any who strayed from the path, and collected money from the already desperate to pad his bank book... At least, if I were an outside observer looking in at the gruesome, predatory practices of many of our popular religious leaders I might think that.  I'm not willing to paint all with that brush, but would not be surprised that some of those mentioned below in an earlier blog were painted as anti-God for their support of the disenfranchised....

But I am not stuck simply on religion.  I'm driven again and again by the seeming incongruity of the two types (broadly speaking) of humans that we are around - political party, denomination, race, nationality not withstanding.  Those who believe in good faith that they should seek to improve the condition of all as a common goal of humanity - the essence of being human; and those who are driven by a desire to simply accrue more for themselves at any cost - often using the words of those who care in a way that gains them power, but who share little in the way of belief.  Two different views of humanity - you need not be religious to believe in the awesome gift of our humanity. You need not be a-religious to care for nothing but your own place of power.

Words control us, co-opt us, are used as weapons, and rarely as a defense.  It is this that troubles me and that I hope to write more of in the coming weeks.  We as humans thrive on our common words, though meaning evolves.  Words flow through us almost organically.  I have talked with many of my friends about this over the years - how certain words ebb and flow in our dialogue, almost taking on a life of their own.

In the mid-Nineties it was "wonderful", stretched out. Prevalent these days, though on the wane, is the phrase "I mean" placed before every other sentence.  Listen for it.  You do it yourself.  The bored or rushed person has a new way to move along conversation: "right" repeated again and again. Historians use of the word "narrative" picked up now by every social scientist and then the mainstream media was hardly uttered a scant two years ago.  The current beginnings of the use of "conceit" increasingly as a part of our diminishing of motive is the next step: "...it seems to be his conceit to believe that..." Once you know this, that words take over a place in our subconscious collectively, the next step is easy.  Control words.  Make "liberal" a bad word - forget that our Founders saw this as a word of revolution and change - of a break with monarchy and the embracing of government by the governed.  Now it is spat in a breath or whispered as a curse. Or that "media", once the bastion of freedom, has devolved into a synonym for elitism along with a college education and a university instructor.

I marvel at the success of those who are wealthiest and who seek to aggrandize themselves with more and more power, who are able to convince those who are poorest to vote for them, while those who struggle to improve wages, working conditions, and our twilight years are somehow vilified and held up as examples of un-Americanism.  I profess to not understand it, as others also do, but, in fact, I do understand it.

Ours is no longer a nation that reveres education or learning. Ours is no longer a nation that aspires for a common good, or a basis in fact and science that leads us there.  Instead we have set out on a new road, oddly a proto-Darwinian story - a "Lord of the Flies" like survival of the nastiest.  While those who would dumb us down and tear away our foundations of a just state may profess they don't believe in evolution and that they do believe in God, neither holds true.  Under their guidance we evolve, but into a more brutal state that has little left of charity.  We compete for everything, for everything has become competition.  We even watch the struggle of new releases of movies to see who is number one and who number ten...  It is all a race.  And here is the craziest thing about it those who do care, who fit the human condition I described above, accept this competition and dutifully play by the rules "of the game".  But the other side never does.  They don't need to.  They don't care about the game, they just care about the power, the winning.  If they lose, they change the rules. Or the words...

So listen you poets, and singers, and writers... Push through these thieves and steal back your words.